the joys of holiday travel

  • Emails from the airline, notifying me that my flight has been moved to an earlier and-yet-earlier departure time, to the point that I am at the airport so much before the crack of dawn that I’m not sure I’ve over- or under-tipped my cab driver.
  • smug stares across the concourse between the coffee lines at starbucks and dunks
  • the perfect ass-to-face perspective I get from the man who felt that rushing into the aisle when the plane reached the gate would give him great advantage during deplaning.
  • smooth airport pick-up and drop-off courtesy of The Decider (actually, this is the truth: he will make about 10 more airport runs before the year is over, all without complaint).
  • The fake wall fish in the Ft. Lauderdale-Hollyword airport: two heads, one tail, and many unanswered questions.

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